I went to Somerton for exchanges this week. It was really fun, I got to
speak a lot of Spanish and got to ride a bike and eat Mexican food. I loved it!
It is fun to experience new things because I haven't experienced any new areas
on my mission.
This week has been the hardest week of my existence as a
missionary. I am done, my strength and tolerance and patience has been all used up. I never ever want to feel this way again in my life. I feel like I am a failure, I have
been so depressed and I know the Lord blessed me so much during that Christmas
week. I hate writing an email like
this but, I have to get it out someway. Thursday, was the worst day I have
had in my whole mission. My companion
is driving me to heck and so sorry for rambling but Thursday came around and I
just couldn't handle it anymore. She just tried and tried to crack me open and
make me talk but I don't like to talk and especially to her. I just wanted to be
alone and she wouldn't leave me alone. I really am
depressed and it is hard as heck but I will NOT EVER GIVE UP!! I am glad I am
the one suffering and it is not some other sister putting up with her. We just
don't mix and I feel bad because I am bringing down the whole companionship. It
is hard to have the spirit when we are not getting along. I'm really sorry for
saying all this but it is hard to deal with it alone. I dread waking up in the morning, but I
do it anyway. It is not fun. But I did not come out here
for fun, I did not come out here for me, I came out here for the Lord, and I am
not doing His work well because of these things I feel. One week left of this. I will probably be staying in this
area unless they white wash it but who knows. I am absolutely ready for
something new but I will probably stay here and I love it here. Sorry I am
so unhappy and I am sick of holding it to myself. I know I will grow from this
and I already have tremendously!
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